In this online fireside chat, we have brothers Chris Wilde, Rick Acosta and Tom Goetz sit down and share with us about their experiences of Christ, especially in regards to relationships.
This time they are not reading the questions as if they are their own, because in many cases the MC brothers are past that stage in their life. So they read the questions as they are, with minimal distraction, and the brothers do their best to give a response.
With all the complicated relationships, the observations that the young adults have, their seeking to get married, the fellowship they receive from others, and even in the marriage life and serving the Lord together…there are many questions and thank the Lord for the responses of the brothers in the Body.
Online Fireside Chat 4 – Questions & Responses – Relationships
Question 1 – Brother Chris, please share with us how you and your wife met.
You will love this story: it is a story of how brother Chris got to know his wife-to-be, how he gave the Lord the ground in his being before they got married, how they almost got married, and how, eventually, the Lord gave him the desire of his heart (which has also become the desire of God’s heart). It is a wonderful story of how man seeks God and loves God above all, and how the divine history is being worked out in the human history – even in a story of courtship and marriage. Very inspiring.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 2 – “Many millennials resent church because their parents were good at church but not good at life. They struggle attending a place that consumed their parents’ time but never transformed their private life.” I saw this on twitter and could relate so much. How do you deal with this?
It has to with the relationships between young people, students, young adults, and their parents. There’s a quote from social media that relates how many millenials resent church because their parents performed church but were not living out the church or proper life. When you see such a quote and realize how much this is actually lived out in many Christian families…maybe there’s no question to ask, but how do you deal with this?
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 3 – Many of us have a background involving fornication and/or minds poisoned with pornography. How can we be healed from our skewed views and past full of baggage when approaching relationships and marriage in the church? Do we wait until our minds and hearts are healed in this area before pursuing such a relationship?
This is a very serious question, and it is mot-a-mot. Many young believers have a background involving fornication, watching pornography, and other such things. Is there a way to be healed from a skewed view and maybe even get rid of such baggage from the past when you approach relationships and marriage in the church?
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 4 – Are casual dates prior to an official “courtship” to get to know someone appropriate? Can I just ask a sister out for coffee before asking saints what they think about it? I don’t want to get others involved and start drama unnecessarily.
There may be an issue with the word “casual”. There is a good sharing on what fellowship is about and why do we as believers in Christ – and in particular as young ones in the church life – need fellowship. And there’s so much care and love from the brothers in their answer to this question.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 5 – When I was living in the world, all my friends’ parents were divorced, and it seemed impossible to find the right person. When I became a Christian, it seemed as though the pool of people became even smaller. Then I came into the Lord’s recovery, and that pool seemed to be even smaller. Now the brothers are telling us that we need to marry someone with the same vision. After the training (Bible school), it feels even smaller. It seems that the more steps I take in life, the harder it becomes to find someone. Are my concepts right because I don’t feel like I can find anyone that matches me?
This seems to be a question that many who went through all these experiences ask. It is getting harder and harder for many young adults – both in the church life and in the world – to get married. However, as the brothers say it so clearly, you don’t need to look at the “shrinking pool of options”; you just need to fellowship with the Lord and seek Him for the one He has for you. A very good word of fellowship concerning relationships and our going on with the Lord.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 6 – I am new to the church and I am in a smaller locality here in Europe. I look around and I don’t see many options for people my age. I’m not sure what I should do and how I should go about finding a wife.
This relates somehow with the previous question, and it is quite true; many young adults are spread throughout Europe and they are in isolated situations, and especially with the pandemic and the lockdown, things are even worse. I love the response the brothers give to this question. You really feel their care in the Body, even when we struggle in the matter of relationships.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 7 – Sometimes, I really struggle with being single. I’m a single young adult sister that has been working after graduating college a couple years ago, and sometimes I feel like it’s impossible for me to be happy unless I’m married and have kids. Any suggestions on how my soul can cope as a single sister?
There is a lot of feeling in the Body for the saints passing through such an experience. Many times it is very difficult to be single, thirty-something years old, in the church life. There is a portion of the experience of Christ for this time, under the Lord’s sovereignty. There is a portion of Christ for this experience, and we do hope that in the Body no one would look beyond for the next stage of life, and miss the Christ now. Amen.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 8 – When my wife and I were courting, we tried to be open to some older brothers and sisters for fellowship. However, we ended up receiving lots of unhelpful opinions from people we really respected. We are now married, and that is behind us. What would you suggest to a couple involved in a courtship on how to avoid such an experience?
This is a post-marriage question. And the brothers’ response is so wonderful. They start by apologizing for potentially being such an older couple who would give such an opinion….because sometimes we are all guilty of saying something that sounded so good until we say it out loud. In fellowship, we may experience that, the older we get, the less we have to say, and the less quickly we answer.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Question 9 – I am a brother that wants to bear fruit, serve the Lord, and open my home, but my wife restricts so much of what we can do in the church life. It’s killing me and I am becoming bitter. What can I do to take care of her and also the Lord’s interests?
This is from someone in a marriage relationship. Such questions are not easy. And the brother who answered this question said that, many years ago, he could have composed and asked such a question, for he thought that what the Lord wanted from him was to be busy, be faithful, be consecrated…and there were times that he felt that the wife was holding him back, and the wife seemed to hold him back. But the Lord in His mercy led him through a series of failures, even health failures…and the Lord needed to bring him down… – listen to this fellowship to find out more.
Watch the response/s given by the brothers here.
Watch and listen to this Question and Response session in Russian (Вопросы и отклики полная сессия #4) and in German (Fragen und Rückmeldungen #4).
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