We need to see a vision of the self so that the self may be exposed and denied and that we may hate our independence from God and from the Body
The heart of the heavenly vision is the vision of Christ and the church. However, in order for us to clearly see this vision and have it wrought into us, we need to see the vision of the self, the greatest hindrance to the building up of the Body of Christ.
We have seen something of the heavenly vision, something of the all-inclusive Christ, and something of the church as the Body of Christ; now we need to see a corresponding vision of the frustrations that hinder us from seeing and being in the heavenly vision.
All the genuine seeing of the positive things from God should issue in a proper seeing of our self and all the shortages on the negative side. The truth is that, the more we see the heavenly vision, the more we see our self and all the frustrations on the negative side.
When Job saw God, he realized, I heard of You with the hearing of my ear but now my eye sees You; therefore, I repent in dust and ashes (see Job 42). Job thought he knew God, but when he saw Him, he abhorred himself.
When Isaiah saw a vision of God in His glory in His temple, he reacted by saying, I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell among a people of unclean lips (see Isa. 6).
When Peter met the Lord Jesus and he caught a lot of fish by obeying His word to cast the net on the other side of the boat, he told the Lord, Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.
As we are seeing the wonderful heavenly vision of Christ and the church, we should also see clearly the frustrations on the negative side, particularly the self. When we see a vision of the self, there will be an inner conviction, an inner termination and killing of the self so that we may see and enter into the heavenly vision in reality in our living.
We don’t merely need to “know our self” or have a thorough knowledge of the self; we need to have a vision of the self, a spiritual seeing of what the self is. A knowledge of our self will puff us up and cause us to be more confident in the self, but a vision of the self will cripple us, causing us to be humbled and change our direction.
For our going on with the Lord we need more than just a general knowledge of our self; we need a convicting and piercing vision.
Lord Jesus, shine on us. Grant us a vision of the self. Lord, have mercy on us and may Your light penetrate so that we may see what the self is. May we by Your mercy and grace deny the self, put the self aside, and lose our soul-life so that the Body of Christ may be built up.
We Need to See a Vision of the Self so that the Self may be Exposed, Denied, and Hated
Matt. 16:23 But He turned and said to Peter, Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me, for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men.
Only the Lord can show us what the self is, and only He can grant us a vision of the self. The self is not something outward and evil as the sin and the world is, and we may not recognize the self outright when it is manifested. When you sin or love the world you realize that it is bad, and when you participate in worldly pleasures you know it’s not right.
But there’s something hidden and unconscious in us, something that is not easily recognized, something which declares independence from God, damages our growth in life, comes out with many opinions and thoughts, and hinders the building up of the Body of Christ.
Martin Luther once said, “I am more afraid of my own heart than of the pope and all his cardinals. I have within me the great pope, Self.” Within us there’s a hidden enemy that has been eating and chipping away many of the positive benefits of our going on with the Lord.
Unless our self is exposed, denied, and put aside, we cannot progress in our going on with the Lord, and the Body of Christ cannot be built up. When we really see the self, we will deny it and even hate it as God hates it.
In Matt. 16:23-25 we see a clear picture of what the self is. Peter had just uttered the vision the Father gave him concerning Christ, the Son of the living God, and a few minutes later he was exposed as being one with Satan, even being Satan himself.
The Lord Jesus told His disciples that He had to go to Jerusalem and suffer and die on the cross, and after three days He will be resurrected. When Peter heard this, he took the Lord aside and rebuked Him, This shall never happen to You! Peter was concerned for the Lord, and out of the kindness of his heart, he wanted to stop this from happening.
He was such a good friend to the Lord, giving Him a comforting word…but the Lord Jesus turned aside and said to him, Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God but on the things of man.
The Lord Jesus didn’t seem to appreciate Peter’s apparent word of comfort; He spoke straight to him and exposed Satan, showing Peter that he was one with Satan. Jesus recognized the source of Peter’s words: the gates of Hades were opened and Satan was expressed through Peter’s opinions. Here, the Lord Jesus exposed the self as being one with Satan and expressed through opinions (as good as they were).
As the Lord is building up His church, the gates of Hades (the satanic authority with all its evil power) will try their best to attack and oppose the church; however, the gates of Hades shall NOT prevail against the builded church (Matt. 16:18).
Through Peter’s expressing his opinion about the Lord not going to die, he was one with Satan, and the self was exposed. Once exposed under the Lord’s light, the self needs to be denied and hated.
The Lord said, If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it; but whoever loses his soul-life for My sake shall find it. (Matt. 16:25)
The Self is the Soul-Life with the Emphasis on Human Thoughts and Opinions
Matt. 16:24-25 If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it; but whoever loses his soul-life for My sake shall find it.
What is the self? The Bible has several instances and verses where it talks about the self, and in Matt. 16 we specifically see that the self is the soul-life with the emphasis on human thoughts and opinions.
We may think that Peter was kind to the Lord, trying to prevent Him from dying (who wants his friend to die?), but under the Lord’s shining light in His word, we realize that Peter’s self was exposed as being his soul life, especially his thoughts and opinions.
Who doesn’t have thoughts? Which human being has no opinions? The more we grow in the human life, ever since the time we are able to speak we have our own thoughts and opinions. We are the sum total of our thoughts and opinions, and when we speak we express our culture, upbringing, background, feelings, etc. We speak our opinions unconsciously, and we live like this all day long.
I was helped to realize the relationship between the mind, the self, and the soul-life by this footnote in the Recovery Version,
Three terms in Matthew 16:23-25 are related to one another: mind, himself, and soul-life. Our mind is the expression of our self, and our self is the embodiment of our soul-life. Our soul-life is embodied in and lived out by our self, and our self is expressed through our mind, our thought, our concept, our opinion. When we set our mind not on the things of God but on the things of men, our mind grasps the opportunity to act and express itself. This was what happened with Peter. Hence, the Lord’s subsequent word indicated that Peter had to deny himself, that is, not save his soul-life but lose it. Losing the soul-life is the reality of denying the self. This is to take up the cross. (Matt. 16:24, footnote 2, Recovery Version)
The essence of the self is the soul-life, and the expression of the self is the thoughts and opinions. Satan is embodied in our self, and whenever we live in our soul-life we are one with Satan and express our opinions which are his opinions also. This is why the Lord Jesus, when He was on the earth, never lived in His soul-life but always denied Himself and took the Father as the source, center, and focus of all He did.
We need to see a vision of the self and realize that our mind is the expression of our self and our self is the embodiment of our soul-life. Our self is hidden within our being – we don’t know it, we can’t see it, and others can’t feel it.
Oh, may Thy living light, Lord, Scatter all my night, Lord, And everything make bright, Lord, For this I pray to Thee.
But the self has an outlet: our concepts, thoughts, and opinions. By listening to someone speaking you realize what his opinions are and you can see what’s in his self. This self is the embodiment of the soul-life, which is one with Satan.
We can’t look into our self through introspection and “see the self”; we need to come to the Lord and honestly pray over all these verses, opening to Him and telling Him from the bottom of our heart,
Lord Jesus, I don’t know what is in me. I don’t know my self. Shine on me. Lord, show me a vision of the self. Show me the self the way You see the self so that I may deny the self, abhor my self, and even hate my self. Save me from my self-will and self-confidence. Save me from self-sufficiency and self-seeking. Lord, I want to go on with You and be a person useful for the building up of Your Body. Lord, shine on me and supply me to deny the self under Your light so that the Body may be built up!
References and Hymns on this Topic
- Inspiration: the Word of God, my Christian experience, bro. James Lee’s sharing in the message for this week, and portions from, The Experience of Life (ch. 10), as quoted in, the Holy Word for Morning Revival on, The Heavenly Vision, week 4 / msg 4, The Vision of the Self.
- Hymns on this topic:
# There is a foe whose hidden pow’r / The Christian well may fear, / More subtle far than inbred sin, / And to the heart more dear. / It is the pow’r of selfishness, / It is the wilful I, / And ere my Lord can live in me, / My very self must die. (Hymns #415)
# Lord, teach us to discern the spirit / That subtle self exposed might be, / That by the cross to it applying / We’ll live not by ourselves but Thee. (Hymns #746)
# Oh, may Thy living light, Lord, / Scatter all my night, Lord, / And everything make bright, Lord, / For this I pray to Thee. / I hardly know myself; / Deceived so much by pride, / I often think I’m right / And am self-satisfied. (Hymns #426)
