a trainee’s testimony – knowing the Lord and His heart, trusting Him and loving Him afresh!

Dear saints, it is not easy to share with you in few sentences about such a precious time with the Lord in the Full Time Training in London. This time I would like to share my top enjoyment. I am so thankful to the Lord and I am so happy that the full time training is not the goal but it is for the goal (Eph. 4:12-15; 2 Tim 3:16-17; 2 Pet. 3:18). After these two years I am enjoying a new beginning with the Lord.

A few years before I came to the training something happened in my life that broke my personal relationship with the Lord. Still, I continued to follow the Lord and I was still in the church life – but somewhere deep in me I could not fully trust the Lord again… One day I turned to the Lord and I said, “Lord I would REALLY like to know YOU” and then I heard, “Would you like to know Me at the FTTL?” After such a personal invitation from the Lord I could say only YES to Him.

I received great help from one of the elder brothers at the beginning of my first term. I had some fellowship with him and I crying, confessing that I lost the Lord somewhere… I told him that at the Full Time Training there are so many regulations, and is not that I do not want to keep them but I do not remember some of them, and others I even do not understand (since English is my second language)! This brother said “I have only one suggestion for you: Forget about the regulations and TAKE CARE OF THE LORD IN YOUR SPIRIT”.

I received this fellowship and I began care for and know this Wonderful Person in My Spirit (1 Cor 6:17; Rom. 10:12). Someone once said that we need to pray and talk to the Lord not because He does not know our situation but because He loves to hear our voice (see S. S. 2:14). And not only this – the Lord also loves to speak to us! Especially during my second year of the training I learned to come to Bible not just as I would come to a book but come to a living Person who wants to speak something to me (John 5:39-40). In such a way for the first time in my life in the course of one year I read the New Testament five times, and I finished reading the whole Bible with the footnotes (during the training and in the break).

What I treasure the most after this two years of the training is that I could know the Lord, know His heart toward us, and began to TRUST the Lord (Isa. 41:10) and LOVE HIM afresh (Rev. 2:4). I felt not only restored and shepherded by the Lord, but I could also see more of what is ON HIS HEART. Now I can also say the words of one of the hymns, “God has dream… – Now it is my dream, my vision and life to be”. The Lord longs for a building – He longs that we will be built up in Him. The Full Time Training is not too produce spiritual giants but many living stones – not scattered, but built up in His house to satisfy His heart desire (1 Pet. 2:5). It is amazing that the Lord does not expect from us to do something for Him but He is waiting for us to turn our heart to Him and ALLOW Him to do something for us and through us (John 3:30; Gal. 2:20). He will build up the church! Through many different experiences I could see how much the Lord is for the Body, how much He cares for the Body, and how much He cares through the members of the Body.

It was such a privilege for me to see saints who really love the Lord, who live our Christ and express Him in their daily life. It is so true that we can shepherd others much more by our living than by our speaking. I want to live such a life, a life of continually loving Him (Mark 12:30), trusting Him (Heb. 2:13), knowing Him (Phil 3:10), pursuing Him (Phil. 3:13-14), gaining (Phil. 3:8) and enjoying Him in all aspects of my daily life (1 Thes 5:16-18) – in everything I would be for and with our dear Lord, and for and with His Body (Rom. 12:5; Rom 14:19; 2 Tim. 2:22)

[The above is a sharing from sister M who recently graduated the Full Time Training in London – something of her top enjoyment and experience of Christ in the FTTL. Words cannot describe or show how sweet, how deep, and how real the Lord is to you when you’re in the training – you have to taste it for yourself! Picture source: London]